ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
