Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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