I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
