Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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