I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
