He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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