The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
