What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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