I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
