If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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