in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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