So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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