she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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