This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
