Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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