I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
