don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
