erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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