Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
