Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
