whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
