question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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