I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
