im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
one might say we're banned from that church
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
