just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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