This girl is more easily done than said...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
