All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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