I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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