Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
