We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize