I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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