Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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