Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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