Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
