ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
