I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
