My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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