and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
