One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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