nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
