have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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