More tranny stories later!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
