Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
