are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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