wat bout pragnant strippers??
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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