god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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