I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
