break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
