I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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