Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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