two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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