question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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