WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and she was petting her beer can
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
